Congratulations on Your New Job!

Though I wouldn't work for anyone
Who would hire you.
How did you get over on them?

Lying Bastard!

Happy Anniversary!

My friend Bill says that
Your wife's "Eat" tattoo
Should be closer to her vadge.

I agree, but told him that
The "In Here" tattoo
Is perfectly placed by her anus.

Dipshit!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

It took me some time
To find a card
Just for you.
Yet, I found one
That says exactly
What I wanted to say.
And here it is:

YOU SUCK!

Congratulations on Your New Home!

There goes the neighborhood.

Dumbass!

Sorry to Hear . . .

That you lost your job.
It's far more amazing to me
That you had one in the first place!

I love this country;
Do us all a favor and
Stay out of the workforce,
You Total Waste!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !

So, it's true.
You're living proof.
The good die young,
and the assholes continue on.

See you next year, Scumbag!

Congratulations on Your New Addition!

That's all we need,
Another asshole to use up
the world's valuable resources.
Two words: Birth Control
Dickweed!

Thank You for Last Night!

It was boring,
Totally unfulfilling,
And, mostly, a complete waste of my time.
What a Loser!
Stay Away!

Happy Anniversary!

Your wife says mine is twice as big as yours.
Let me return the compliment;
She has great boobs!
You Asshole!